(An old post reposted cause it had gotten lost somewhere... and frankly I'm stuck.) 

We gals all four of us like to get together every fortnight and raise hell, umm or maybe not raise hell but definitely paint the town red! Or as Maggie likes to put it, reds too loud girl go for pink, or purple oh who the hell cares, so long as you get my point. We let our hair lose and lose all inhibitions and settle down to have some serious fun. Yes that’s what we do. Us girls.

Maggie, a doctor, fun, slightly anal, but over all street smart. Kamini an architect who is totally sweet and slightly anti men since her husband went and had an affair (the jerk for future reference.), Angela, who’s totally whacky and a principal of a school (her students think she’s strict and anti fun! Lol a lot they know) and then there’s me. What can I say, I’m the mad artist. My mind soaring high but my feet firmly planted down kind of a person.

So there we were gathered together at Kaminis place. The jerk was having an affair with some poor unsuspecting soul and away. We all settled down, Maggie with scotch on the rocks, Kamini with vodka with limca, and me and Angie with a nice full bodied red wine.

After our usual catching up with gossip and bitching about the jerk and men in general,

Maggie: I say there must be some way we can gauge a man before letting him get to first base. I mean that’ll at least keep the losers out there where we want them!”

Me: Hmmm, I get what you mean, like men, I mean they look for big boobs, niffy arse, or an attitude just like theirs get laid today, think perhaps day after!

What can I say,I never judge but my girlfriend kamini was hurting and the jerk was responsible and so…

Angie: yeah let’s make a list. Say of things we want in our men. Honest list for our eyes only.

Kamini: Hell who needs men! When god made men she was only kidding anyways.

Maggie: ok kamini pay attention,(which was difficult after a couple of drinks) If you went shopping for a man what would you want? You know? Tell us?

Kamini: lack of penis and some brains.

Angie: girl that’s not a man, that’s a woman!

Kamini: Yeah so I’m done with men!

Me: I’ll go for a nice bod with a cool attitude. Some one who can make me laugh even in bed…

Maggie: yeah your last bfriend did that.

Angie: well he did that with his performance or lack of!

Lol.

Me: Hey to be fair, he wasn’t so bad, just self absorbed. And at least he left when I asked him to!

Kamini: men don’t have a problem with leaving! Ask them to stay and look at their skid marks. So I’ll go for staying power. The jerk, he didn’t have any, even in bed!

Angie to me: girl he stayed for a while but you were painting and so you didn’t notice. Then he left, no one can live with such a royal complete ignore. You justfreeze them out when you paint! 
I grinned. Never argue with truth.

Maggie: I’d say monetarily stable. Or even rich since this is a wish list. I don’t want to spend money on some one who may not last at all.

Angie: he has to be a good lover. Some one who can give multiple orgasms and not just talk about them! laughter

Me: Some one who knows where the G spot is, is not completely clueless. And even if he doesn’t he should ask and listen to what i want. So some one who can follow directions and ask for them at least.

Kamini: Men can never ask for directions, it’s a gene or testosterone thing. They’d rather roam about lost, and die of starvation before asking for directions!

Laughter!

Maggie had got her diary and a pen. That woman is so organized, at a ‘get drunk and raise hell’ party she carried a pen and a diary.  I was in awe.

Maggie: Ok I’m writing we have, Must be well off,Must have a good bod, Must have a nice attitude. Must be an excellent lover. Must be smart or at least halfway there.Must know how to listen.What else.

Kamini: u forgot the staying power.

And while you are at it and this is a wish list add loyalty. And faithful, someone who keeps his promises.

Maggie: loyalty and faithful added.

Me: well you know he should have a serious cute and decent factor, for afterwards, what do you do with them after sex then if you don’t like them?

Angie: Girl, that’s an easy one for you, you go and paint.

Laughter. I sighed, yeah there's always that.

Maggie: ok decent and cute.

Maggie: I am adding good manners!

Angie: she would, aww mags, good manners? You want him to ask you, maam may I please kiss you? Or excuse me but does this turn you on? Get real!

Laughter.

Maggie: No but I’d not want him to fart in public, or pick his nose! And what is wrong with good manners. Am adding manners. So here’s the list.

1.    Good bod

2.    good attitude

3.    Rich or at least well off.

4.    Excellent lover.

5.    Smart or at least half way there.

6.    must know how to listen

7.    must have staying power

8.    loyalty and faithful

9.    Cute and decent.

10. Good social behaviour.

Kamini: want to change the pri..p ri o rity, puts faithful and loyal right at the top.

Angie: that’ll make it sound like a dog list.

Me: Hey I love dogs. they are like dudes...cool. Fun.
Angie: having you been playing with yours before coming here, you smell ofeau de dog, with a lower note of turpentine.
Me with a Goofy grin: Angie get real, this is my stay safe perfume, i use while travelling...I took the train gal...this keeps people at a respectable distance.
Kams: Men all dogs anyway. 

I noticed kams speech slurring. I had a nice sweet buzz in my head. Angie had a wicked grin on her face (she often has a wicked grin even when she is sober so cant say if she was high) and Maggie, well that woman doesn’t get drunk, its just not her. So I and mags got down to prioritizing the list. And heres what we got.

1. Good bod.

2. Good attitude (sense of humour and stuff)

3. Excellent lover. Knowledgeable.

4. Faithful, honest, loyal.

5. Rich, or well off.(mags wanted to put this one on top but I won, so I guess I do make more sense drunk than sober!)

6. Smart.

7. Must know how to listen.

8. Cute and decent.

9. Good social behaviour.

10. Staying power. (We already had excellent lover and I thought this one came under it, but mags being the person she is, thought it had to be a separate point.)

After this mags asked for a cab for herself and Angie. Me I thought it prudent to stay put with kams, loneliness and drinks were not a good combination. We wound up, like that, but the list it stayed. Don’t know when I put it in my bag. But here it is now, and reminds me of that day of long ago. It was all light hearted fun . …thought you’d enjoy it too.

But if all you men who've read this one...are seriously hurt,(the kinds who don't have a sense of humour we weren't talking about you at all) Just skip it thinking how much would drunken women know any ways...
and all those of you who are laughing, not feeling threatned...I'll give you angie's or maggie's number... 

BMW.

why did i repost this...causewe had another one of the get drunk and raise hell party...but am too sleepy to write about it now...later...